GFE (Girl Friend Experience) in the Dominican
Republic.
You're here for a 1 or 2 week vacation or even living here you have
to get realistic about Dominican relationships.
The reason most men
come down here is because of the beautiful girls. The culture is a
lot different and sex is a lot
freer (but not as in free) but as a
point of view. The longer you are here you realize how little you
understand
about the Dominican lifestyles and morality when it comes to sex and
love. You have to come to the realization
that sex is recreation (what
else can you do when you have no money); morality has no part in the
equation.
Typically,
the girl who works in these tourist areas as a part time
prostitute is in her late teens or early twenties. She may be
from the
surrounding area but quite frequently she may have come from another
part of the country. She may have previously
worked in a "take out
bar" (bar/disco with an exit/salida) that abound in the country, that cater
to Dominican men but
came to realize that she could make more money
from tourists. The Dominican men frequent the numerous cabanas that
you
see all over the countryside with their girlfriend "du jour". The
majority of these women have one or more children by
a Dominican male
but the vast majority of the time, the father has abandoned the family
and his fatherly duties and
the woman is left the raise the children
herself. Generally, this responsibility is handed over to the girls mother. This
cycle frequently repeats itself generation over generation. A young beautiful sexy companion here is not a problem.
The
three most frequently asked questions/requests are:
1) I want to meet a nice decent girl.
2) I want to meet a girl
that speaks English.
3) I want to meet an educated girl who has a regular job.
1) A nice girl is one that
works, even if it's in a "takeout"
bar/disco. She takes care of her children and asks you for nothing
extravagant. She'll
give you a manicure and offer to wash you clothes
for nothing. If she has a place that she can cook she'll offer to cook
you
a meal. That's not to say she doesn't expect you to give her money
as help for the food and rent, she does.
That's my
definition of a nice girl, it's not where they work, how
much education they have or how much English they speak.
2)
Stay away from Dominican men who speak English and haven't got a
real job here. These guys would rather con you, the tourist,
than work,
so don't put too much trust, or any for that matter, in them. Some of
these were criminals deported from
US jails in the 90's.
This is off the DR1 web site. In case anyone wants to know where all those
Dominican men learn
to speak English. ******US returns 64
felons****** The United States returned 64 convicted criminals to the
Dominican
Republic after having served their jail sentences. The
Listin Diario reported that the 64 were residents of New York,
Boston,
Philadelphia, Brooklyn and New Jersey. They had all been
convicted of felonies and their return brings the total number
of such
cases to 3,165 as recorded in (October 2003). I am sure the number is similar today.
Much the same
can be said for the Dominican girls that work in the
hotels or restaurants and can speak English, they routinely have
4 or
5 boyfriends that come down once a year but send money to them monthly
via Western Union. The real problem these girls
have, is when two of
their boyfriends vacation in the Dominican Republic at the same time.
A common misconception:
A
common misconception is that the majority of Dominican prostitutes
work in tourist areas and cater to tourists, when in
fact, this is
not the case. Some do but the majority of Dominican part time
prostitutes' clients are Dominican men.
The men visit small discos
that litter the country and are filled with Dominican women working as
hostesses without
pay. Sometimes, like immediately before Christmas,
you will find more girls than normal working in these establishments
in
an effort to earn some quick money for the holidays. They will then
go back to their normal lives.
3) An educated
girl that has a job in the bank or goes to school, and
lives at home with their middle class or well off family is generally
off
limits for a tourist on vacation.
But for sure the 40/50/60 year old "gringo" tourist that isn't needed
to
provide support for the middle or upper class family won't be a
welcome guest or dinner date for their 25 year old daughter.
(Remember
the movie "Guess who's coming for dinner".)
You may find a poor and educated beautiful girl working in a
department
store and is over 30 that are looking for an older/mature
man to take care of her and her children. But they aren't
found easily
and you have to speak some Spanish.
Forget requests for #'s 2 & 3, spend your time looking for
#1, a nice
young passionate girl that works and cares for her children, BUT!
Keep in mind the following.
Take
note of these truths:
1) Even the most Dominicanized gringo is going to be looked upon as an
outsider here, who
potentially has money. There is no way to get
around this. Their world view is often very narrow - much of their
understanding
of us comes from TV and other very stereotyped
viewpoints. Dominican families (and Dominicans in general) tend to be
very
good about sharing resources - if someone gets sick or needs some
financial help, they will often scrape up money from
very extended
parts of the family to try and pay the bill. Thus, a Dominican
girlfriend EXPECTS that you will have some
extra money to share with
the family.
A Dominican girl will treat you like you are her boyfriend, hoping
that
you will send money to her after you leave in order to help
support her family.
2) We love them because they are
very passionate and child like, when
we leave for 4 months we expect them to sit and wait for our return.
Get real,
they aren't and neither are we faithful to them. And as an
outsider don't expect anyone to tell you that the money you've
just
given her went to pay the doctor for her Dominican boyfriend's broken
leg. She had told you she needed the money
for her son who is sick.
They do behave like 8/9 year old children in
that they want everything
now and will tell you very transparent lies
in an attempt to get what they want.
3) Some men visiting the DR are
not just looking to pay for sex but
are more interested in a long-term relationship. In these cases, a
girl/chica will
jump to fill the void. She will stay with him for the
duration of his vacation and convince him that she is not a prostitute
but
has fallen in love with him. She will talk him into helping her
provide for her and her children. The tourist will generally
return
home believing that he now has a faithful girlfriend waiting for him
to return. She will keep in contact with
him via phone or e-mail and
he will periodically send her money to help her. He will tell her when
he is coming back
for a visit and she will be waiting as if she loves
him. Of course, she will have several men of this nature thinking she
is
their faithful girlfriend and will also be working as a prostitute
when not preoccupied with each of them.
4) Give
them money to live on when you're away. Bad idea! Give them
money while you are here but if you give them a lot they will
be
expected to share it with their family and even their Dominican
boyfriends.
A friend bought his "then" girlfriend
in a little home and gave
her 76,000 pesos to provide her with 8000 pesos a month to live on and
3000 pesos for the
watchman per month. Plus 10,000 pesos for her
birthday. This was supposed to last 6 months. He came back in three
months
and all she had left in the bank was 2800 pesos and her brother
had also moved in to the house. She had previously lived
on 3000 pesos
per month.
A Canadian man met a "nice" country chica; he married his
Dominican girlfriend who had a 3 year old
daughter. He set her up in
an apartment, furnished it and sent $1000. Cdn down every month to pay
the rent and other
expenses. All was well as long as he just came down
for his two week vacations. He came back one November to stay
the
winter. His wife told him he couldn't stay the winter; he had to leave
after two weeks. Her Dominican "live in"
boyfriend would get up set if
he had to stay away any longer than two weeks. Needless to say the
marriage is over.
5)
Do you think these 19 - 20 year olds are with us 50 - 60 year olds
for our good looks and charm? Again, get real, they
do like us because
we can make their lives better and we do treat them better than the
Dominican men but it's a business
deal. They prefer Dominican men to
us (80% have steady Dominican boyfriends) because they are more
comfortable in their
own cultural circle (communication, music and
dancing).
We get love (sex) and affection in return for our financial
help and
that's the bottom line!
6) GFE (girl friend experience) sure, take them to the
beach, out for
supper (don't expect them to like the food or have an exciting
conversation) and dancing, but if you
expect too much, you'll only be
disappointed with your vacation/girlfriend experience.
Final notes:
There
are a lot of available young, beautiful women in the DR. If
things start to go wrong with what was earlier the love of
your life,
don't wait even for a minute, give them a little motoconcho money and
send them on their way.
There
is always another chica around the corner.
The original author is believed to be (Dominican Billy?) We thought
it was important as a multi read reminder to all.
SMT